September 26
September is flying by. It's been 2 weeks since I last wrote and of course so much has changed. The soccer game was so great. It was the biggest sports event I've ever been to. It was super packed and of course there were quite a few fights that broke out, and around the end, when the team that I was cheering for (Blooming) lost, someone set fire to paper in the stands about 10 feet away from me and people decided it was a good idea to fuel it! The next week was pretty normal I didn’t go to work on Monday, I spent the rest of the day trying to figure out my school work since I'm taking 3 courses while I'm here and in Quebec. Nothing really came out of the day but it was a nice break. We had theatre class, which I like but it seems most of the girls are not fans of it. Many think that the scenes that we are doing are re-enforcing the stereotypes we are trying to break. I can definitely see their points but I think it would be hard to have a play devoid of all stereotypes that is actually interesting for the age group we are presenting to (14-24). It also seems many of the girls are using this idea as an excuse to just not to anything but complain. Wednesday we all went to Samaipata which is about 4 hours away from Santa Cruz de le Sierra for our halfway camp. It was amazing! Samaipata is so gorgeous, it's up in the mountains with a ton of green beautiful grass and the sun isn't obstructed by smog or smoke. It was definitely a huge pick-me-up. We did a lot of team building stuff and a LOT of activities that were supposed to bring us closer to our counterparts. And it worked! Well it's a work in progress but since Alison and I really tried hard to communicate to each other how we felt those 3 days we have both been more conscience about each others needs. The last day there almost all of the girls decided to get up at 5 in the morning and climb one of the mountains to see the sun rise. In the end it was only me and 3 other girls. I was the only English one in the group, the rest were French but could speak English a bit or a lot depending on the girl. We ended up speaking French and Spanish though and only a little bit. I think we all silently agreed that the silence and sound of nature was better than anything we could have said. It was truly amazing. It wasn't totally silent especially when the sun started to come up. Roosters and dogs started howling and yelling like they knew the end of the world was coming, but it was still the most silence any of us had the privilege to be part of probably since this program started. People here are really really big on playing their music loudly outside starting from 7 in the morning until probably 3 or 4 in the morning some days. And on the bus, and in the street..and pretty much everywhere. I love music, its one of the biggest things in my life but I have come to learn that I also love and appreciate silence almost as much! After our hike we all went back to Santa Cruz but on the way back we stopped at this waterfall park and got in 2 or 3 hours of swimming and relaxing (for some girls it was a chance to take a million pictures of themselves in bikinis sitting on rocks).
Once I got back to Santa Cruz I was exhausted and went to bed as soon as I got home, which was a good idea because the next day the family and I went to Ally's school to go to a culture fair. It was pretty cool and I got to see a ton of traditional costumes, dances and ate some traditional food. After that we went to Ally's friends house for around an hour. Then we were off to one of our volunteer community projects. We were all supposed to be volunteering at another culture fair but when we got there the organization said they had too many volunteers and didn't have any work for us to do. It was pretty disappointing and Ally and I just went home to take a nap because around 9 we all went to a cousins quinsinera. It was really great, super fancy and the girl (who was turning 15) had about 2 or 3 huge princess-like dresses. At first it was a little boring but once the formalities were over and the dancing started it was great. I drank a little bit of wine and had enough confidence to say yes to dancing with one of the cousins friends. I was so embarrassed because I am a horrible dancer. All the dance classes I ever took I quit after 2 years max. He taught me how to salsa and do some other dance that was pretty simple so that was pretty great. We didn't end up going home until 3 in the morning, and Ally's parents went back after dropping us off at home!
The next day we went back to the house where the quinsinera was to have some cake (the tortas [cakes] here are amazing! So much better than our plain white or chocolate cakes at home!). After that I went home around 5 because I was really tired. Ally and her parents stayed at the house until 10.
Monday I had work again. Same old same old. Baked some bread, coloured with kids, watched them play basketball. Tuesday we had work and theatre. My books for University FINALLY came! It took almost 3 weeks to get them from customs. My supervisor had to go through a lot to get them for me, I'm so thankful! I have 7 Shakespeare plays (tragedies) to read and a ton of books for my Political Science course. I'm really behind and I don't think I'm going to be able to get on the schedule that I would like to be on. Wednesday we had work (my school put on another a culture fest which was really fun. I got some great pictures of the kids in traditional dress and got to eat even more traditional food.) and then instead of Spanish/French class we had theatre again because we had been missing a lot of that. This made it so that we hadn't had language class in almost 3 weeks now. I feel like our language classes are very insufficient, at least for the Spanish part. All the Bolivian girls in the French class got a huge book on French verbs and how to conjugate them the other day. Yet us Canadians haven't received anything like that here for French or Spanish.
After theatre class my family picked me up at 9 and we went to Expo-Cruz. It's this massive South American business fair. There's a ton of booths with things ranging from work boots to jewelry to huge propellers. There's also quite a few stages with singers/bands etc. Me and my family (minus Ally because she was on a trip with her work for 2 days) were at one stage just watching the presenter and then he asked if there was anyone from a foreign country there. 2 girls from Italy raised their hands and he made them get up on the stage and he asked them questions and made them dance. I felt so bad for them. They said they've only been here for a month, and they obviously only knew as much Spanish as I did after a month. The whole time I was thinking to myself “wow I'm so glad that's not me, poor girls”. And then when they got off the stage the announcer asked if there was anyone else from a foreign country, and my house-family started screaming “CANADA” and pointing at me! They made me get up on the stage and answer questions! Luckily I understood everything the man said! When he asked how old I was and I said 19 everyone in the audience made gasping noises and I thought I said something wrong! I asked my family about it later and they said it was just because mi so young for being so far away from home. In the end the announcer gave me a water bottle, a hat and I was told a free call home. But my family and I left without me getting my call. I was a bit upset about that but I wouldn't have been able to call anyone anyways since it would have been 12am on a Wednesday!
Thursday was another educational day which was really good but it was so hot that one girl got sick and another got sick from eating meat. Everyone was extremely uncomfortable and moody. I stayed a little after it since it was at one of the girls houses and we were going to watch a movie and laze around. We ended up just talking for a little bit and then I went home since there was a bit of confusion between me, my family and Ally as to what was going on the rest of the night. By the time I got home my house dad was gone for work again for another 2 weeks. Time goes by so fast when he is here because we are always doing something as a family and I feel like he makes a ton of effort to understand me and how I'm feeling (actually my whole family really does, he's just pretty obvious about it).
Friday we had a day off since it was Santa Cruz's 200th birthday. I woke up at 9 ate breakfast and then studied until 6:30. At 6:30 Ally and I took the bus to one of the other girls house's for a Santa Cruz birthday party/a birthday party for one of the girls in the program. It was great! 2 girls from one of the other Canada World Youth programs (Montero a city about an hour away from Santa Cruz de le Sierra) came to the party and one of the girls invited their friend. We were all so relieved to be able to socialize with someone else other than the other 17 girls in our group. It was a pool party too which was fantastic because its so hot here that you sweat just sitting down even if there is no sun!
The next day I studied a little bit more and then the family and I went to another birthday party. These parties that we go to are really difficult for me. I don't understand much because everyone is speaking Spanish and so fast! So I just sit and listen, which I'm content to do, but then Ally gets upset with me because I'm not talking with people or taking pictures of myself. For the first hour I just sat and listened but then Ally made me dance, which I absolutely hated because I'm a miserable dancer and one of the women there was a salsa dance teacher and I did not want to be dancing beside her! After a little while I managed to talk to some people I'm pretty sure they didn't really understand me but they pretended too, and then we had dinner which was so good! After that I sat down beside the woman who is a salsa teacher and found out that she is fluent in English! We had an amazing conversation and I found that she is an amazing, strong and truly respectable woman. I'm not going to post her life story on a blog on the internet but I will always remember how truly inspiring she is.
Today the family and I slept in a lot! I slept in until 1030 which I think is the most I've ever slept in here! We ate breakfast, I studied a bit and then we went to Ally's grandparents for lunch. I tried to have a conversation with two of the uncles about Canada but it didn't really work. One (pretended to I think) understood me and the other had no clue what I was saying. We had lunch, mostly BBQ meat with a tomato slice on the side for a vegetable. I can not wait until I can go back to being vegetarian, or at least being able to have a meal without meat. The food here is amazing but I feel like my body hates me and is saying no more. In fact it hates me so much it won't fit into the jeans I have here, or most of my shorts. I don't know what I'm going to do when I get to Canada and need to wear jeans in the winter. I refuse to buy bigger jeans because this condition is only for the length of this program and no more! Luckily I'm not the only one who is going through this. Although I did get pretty upset (internally) when I was trying to find an outfit for the birthday party.
Only 34 days until Canada! I have to buy some gifts/postcards for my family and friends. I haven't had time to shop here at all! I plan on getting quite a few things though and so I'm pretty sure I'm going to have to buy another bag!
Monday, September 27, 2010
Sunday, September 12, 2010
September 12th
The last week I felt as though I was beginning to like Bolivia, I felt as though the culture shock was lessening and I was becoming more used to this country. Then Friday at work something horrible happened which really shook me. I was out in the garden for the first time with a group of 3 kids and one supervisor. The supervisor went inside for no more than 5 minutes. While she was inside I started hearing people yelling on the other side of the fence where a road is. I thought someone may have cut someone off and they were arguing. I didn't want to get involved especially since it didn't involve me and at the time I believed it didn't involve the harm of another individual. The yelling got louder and louder though and it sounded like more people were involved. I couldn't see what was going on from where I was so I started to walk over to see if it was necessary to call the police. While I was walking over, a woman on the other side of the fence ran up beside me and tried to explain what was going on. I couldn't understand her and just told her I only speak English. She seemed really frustrated about that. Then a few people from inside my work came running out and I heard one of the people say “a kid here” (in Spanish) that's when I started getting worried. When I got to the spot where everyone was there was a group of people surrounding a man on the other side they had all blocked in his car so he couldn't leave. Apparently he had lured one of the kids from my work to the fence where he molested her through the fence. I'm not sure where she was supposed to be, I know she wasn't part of the group that was in the garden and I didn't know she was outside when it happened, but I feel absolutely inadequate and incapable. I was the only volunteer/supervisor outside at the time and I let the yelling go on for a long time before I walked over to see what was going on. The people were yelling for help from someone from my work but I couldn't understand them and so couldn't do anything. Before this program I probably would have walked over right away but since this program started I feel as though my values and beliefs have been completely shaken. Since I am in a foreign country I have tried to make a point not to force my beliefs on anyone here. It is a completely different place and people think much differently than I. Because of this though I feel completely immobilized. Everything I do I question the ethics behind it. I don't know when I should interfere and when I should just go along with the culture of the country. Obviously what happened Friday had nothing to do with the culture of the country and since it involved the safety of another human-being, interference was mandatory.
After work I met the rest of the group in the plaza and we walked around with our signs, denouncing violence against women. It was a very fitting time for me and even though I couldn't do anything that morning, I felt as though I was at least doing something during the “protest”. The response we got was amazing, it was mostly positive (except for some completely ignorant people, some who had the nerve to whistle or cat call at us and others who had the nerve to flat out say they disagreed with protesting against violence) and the media came. An interviewer tried to ask me some questions but I was still shook up from the morning and told him I didn't speak Spanish at all which was fine, they just found someone else. Then another interviewer tried to ask me some questions and I was caught off guard so I answered the first question. Then I couldn't understand the next ones that came at me and I got really nervous and told them I couldn't speak Spanish. They kept trying to ask me questions so I had to walk away. I felt so so horrible that I couldn't even have a simple conversation with someone. I feel so behind everyone else and so inadequate.
That night I went to a party at one of the girls houses but went home fairly early. The next morning I went with Ally to her school to watch some soccer games. I was surprised when we got there and they were playing on a basketball court. Most people play soccer on basketball courts here but for tournaments I assumed they would play on a field. Anyways it was fun and I got to meet some of her friends which was nice. I even managed to have a conversation with one and he didn't even seem to get bored. Although I'm pretty sure he was incredibly smitten. He was filling up my cup with coke and drawing hearts around me when I had my back turned. Did I mention he had just turned 17? It was fun though and it boosted my confidence a little bit, although by the end I couldn't understand any Spanish because my head hurt so much. After that I went to a lake with some of the family. We went with some cousins, aunts and uncles. It was pretty fun, Ally didn't go but I got to spend some time alone with the family. Most of the time I feel as though Ally expects so much more from me than I can possibly give. I will never be a sister to her like I know she wants. We are two very different people and it is unfortunate that our views clash and much of the time even when we understand the language, we don’t understand why the person is saying what they are. It is so evident that we come from completely different life experiences. I think a little bit of it is because of the countries. I think in Canada I have had more of a chance to grow as an independent person. Living on my own for a year really had changed me and made me less dependent on others. Here in Bolivia there doesn't seem to be much of a push for women to be independent. I remember one conversation I had with one of my house mothers friends about Canada. She asked if there were women in Canada without husbands or boyfriends. I said of course, there are tons! Women don't need men in Canada anymore than men need women (key word is need, of course a lot of people want someone to be with). She was so surprised and said she was moving to Canada now! Also here, a lot of women don't leave the house until they are married, again enforcing the idea that women need men. Therefore Ally and I are very very different. There is a 3 year age difference which doesn’t seem like much with some people but between her and I it's as big as the world. She is very dependent on her family and her mom whereas I find it difficult to spend so much time with a family, especially one that is not my own. I am trying to accept the fact that we are incredibly different and that we need to make an effort just to get along on a day to day basis. I believe Ally thinks that no relationship should require this much work and doesn’t understand why we would have to work to make the relationship bearable. I feel as though a lot of the weight is on my shoulders because her and her family believe I should fall into their mould of a daughter or sister. Don't get me wrong I've been trying to fit in and am determined to try even harder the next month and a half but it is hard with this huge language and cultural barrier. I guess that's one of the main points of the program. Learning how to connect and communicate with people with more than just words. On the plus side the kittens are alive! The family has been feeding them table scraps. They are adorable! I'm so happy the choice was made to keep them.
Today I'm going to a soccer game at the stadium. It's Orient against Bloomin, I guess it's a pretty big game so it should be great. We bought the cheapest tickets we could (they were only 30 bolivianos which is around 3.50 Canadian but considering I have almost no money for the next 4 months I'm being as cheap as possible! It seems like it's going to be another super hot day and a lot of my clothes I brought are black! As much as it's kind of uncomfortable I know I'm going to miss the heat when I get to Canada just as much as I miss the snow right now!
Yesterday was a really good day, and I am determined to have another good day today. I've resorted to taking one day at a time, if I try to have a good week I'm almost destined to fail. I just have to remember there are a lot of things here I can't control. I have to focus on the things I can control like my relationship with Ally and her family. Hopefully this week will be the break through week!
The last week I felt as though I was beginning to like Bolivia, I felt as though the culture shock was lessening and I was becoming more used to this country. Then Friday at work something horrible happened which really shook me. I was out in the garden for the first time with a group of 3 kids and one supervisor. The supervisor went inside for no more than 5 minutes. While she was inside I started hearing people yelling on the other side of the fence where a road is. I thought someone may have cut someone off and they were arguing. I didn't want to get involved especially since it didn't involve me and at the time I believed it didn't involve the harm of another individual. The yelling got louder and louder though and it sounded like more people were involved. I couldn't see what was going on from where I was so I started to walk over to see if it was necessary to call the police. While I was walking over, a woman on the other side of the fence ran up beside me and tried to explain what was going on. I couldn't understand her and just told her I only speak English. She seemed really frustrated about that. Then a few people from inside my work came running out and I heard one of the people say “a kid here” (in Spanish) that's when I started getting worried. When I got to the spot where everyone was there was a group of people surrounding a man on the other side they had all blocked in his car so he couldn't leave. Apparently he had lured one of the kids from my work to the fence where he molested her through the fence. I'm not sure where she was supposed to be, I know she wasn't part of the group that was in the garden and I didn't know she was outside when it happened, but I feel absolutely inadequate and incapable. I was the only volunteer/supervisor outside at the time and I let the yelling go on for a long time before I walked over to see what was going on. The people were yelling for help from someone from my work but I couldn't understand them and so couldn't do anything. Before this program I probably would have walked over right away but since this program started I feel as though my values and beliefs have been completely shaken. Since I am in a foreign country I have tried to make a point not to force my beliefs on anyone here. It is a completely different place and people think much differently than I. Because of this though I feel completely immobilized. Everything I do I question the ethics behind it. I don't know when I should interfere and when I should just go along with the culture of the country. Obviously what happened Friday had nothing to do with the culture of the country and since it involved the safety of another human-being, interference was mandatory.
After work I met the rest of the group in the plaza and we walked around with our signs, denouncing violence against women. It was a very fitting time for me and even though I couldn't do anything that morning, I felt as though I was at least doing something during the “protest”. The response we got was amazing, it was mostly positive (except for some completely ignorant people, some who had the nerve to whistle or cat call at us and others who had the nerve to flat out say they disagreed with protesting against violence) and the media came. An interviewer tried to ask me some questions but I was still shook up from the morning and told him I didn't speak Spanish at all which was fine, they just found someone else. Then another interviewer tried to ask me some questions and I was caught off guard so I answered the first question. Then I couldn't understand the next ones that came at me and I got really nervous and told them I couldn't speak Spanish. They kept trying to ask me questions so I had to walk away. I felt so so horrible that I couldn't even have a simple conversation with someone. I feel so behind everyone else and so inadequate.
That night I went to a party at one of the girls houses but went home fairly early. The next morning I went with Ally to her school to watch some soccer games. I was surprised when we got there and they were playing on a basketball court. Most people play soccer on basketball courts here but for tournaments I assumed they would play on a field. Anyways it was fun and I got to meet some of her friends which was nice. I even managed to have a conversation with one and he didn't even seem to get bored. Although I'm pretty sure he was incredibly smitten. He was filling up my cup with coke and drawing hearts around me when I had my back turned. Did I mention he had just turned 17? It was fun though and it boosted my confidence a little bit, although by the end I couldn't understand any Spanish because my head hurt so much. After that I went to a lake with some of the family. We went with some cousins, aunts and uncles. It was pretty fun, Ally didn't go but I got to spend some time alone with the family. Most of the time I feel as though Ally expects so much more from me than I can possibly give. I will never be a sister to her like I know she wants. We are two very different people and it is unfortunate that our views clash and much of the time even when we understand the language, we don’t understand why the person is saying what they are. It is so evident that we come from completely different life experiences. I think a little bit of it is because of the countries. I think in Canada I have had more of a chance to grow as an independent person. Living on my own for a year really had changed me and made me less dependent on others. Here in Bolivia there doesn't seem to be much of a push for women to be independent. I remember one conversation I had with one of my house mothers friends about Canada. She asked if there were women in Canada without husbands or boyfriends. I said of course, there are tons! Women don't need men in Canada anymore than men need women (key word is need, of course a lot of people want someone to be with). She was so surprised and said she was moving to Canada now! Also here, a lot of women don't leave the house until they are married, again enforcing the idea that women need men. Therefore Ally and I are very very different. There is a 3 year age difference which doesn’t seem like much with some people but between her and I it's as big as the world. She is very dependent on her family and her mom whereas I find it difficult to spend so much time with a family, especially one that is not my own. I am trying to accept the fact that we are incredibly different and that we need to make an effort just to get along on a day to day basis. I believe Ally thinks that no relationship should require this much work and doesn’t understand why we would have to work to make the relationship bearable. I feel as though a lot of the weight is on my shoulders because her and her family believe I should fall into their mould of a daughter or sister. Don't get me wrong I've been trying to fit in and am determined to try even harder the next month and a half but it is hard with this huge language and cultural barrier. I guess that's one of the main points of the program. Learning how to connect and communicate with people with more than just words. On the plus side the kittens are alive! The family has been feeding them table scraps. They are adorable! I'm so happy the choice was made to keep them.
Today I'm going to a soccer game at the stadium. It's Orient against Bloomin, I guess it's a pretty big game so it should be great. We bought the cheapest tickets we could (they were only 30 bolivianos which is around 3.50 Canadian but considering I have almost no money for the next 4 months I'm being as cheap as possible! It seems like it's going to be another super hot day and a lot of my clothes I brought are black! As much as it's kind of uncomfortable I know I'm going to miss the heat when I get to Canada just as much as I miss the snow right now!
Yesterday was a really good day, and I am determined to have another good day today. I've resorted to taking one day at a time, if I try to have a good week I'm almost destined to fail. I just have to remember there are a lot of things here I can't control. I have to focus on the things I can control like my relationship with Ally and her family. Hopefully this week will be the break through week!
September 6
Wow time flies when you're insanely busy...Ally's dad left for 2 weeks for work. He is the only person in the family that drives. Since we live so far out of the city, and we have Spanish/french classes at 7:30-9 at night every Wednesday we had to come up with some plan as going home that late was not an option. Luckily Ally's grandparents have left on a vacation and are allowing us to stay in their house (which is right in town!) with her aunt for the two weeks Ally's dad is gone. Friday the 27 my work had an anniversary party. The kids put on a show of the history of Santa Cruz, mostly through dance. It was so great and the best part is we got to go home early! The weekend of the 28 we all had a community project to do. We took a bus about 30 minutes outside of town to a centre for abandoned children with disabilities. We weren't given a lot of information on what we would be doing or on the type of disabilities the children had. We were definitely not prepared for working with children most of whom couldn't walk or talk. We were each assigned a child to wheel around outside in their wheelchairs. We were told to talk to them and that we were there to make them feel loved. The kid I was paired with couldn't move much and couldn't talk at all. Which was fine, I couldn't talk (at least in Spanish) at all either. At first I tried to talk to him using my limited Spanish, but then gave up and decided just to sing to him instead. He seemed to like some songs, but maybe thatch just wishful thinking. Then it was lunch time and we have to feed the children. Only about 3 of us ended up doing it , it seemed like it was too difficult for some of the girls to do. I almost didn't do it either, but I stuck it out. Then we were sent to another section where my group sat around and again tried to engage the children in conversation. At the end of the day I felt absolutely horrible. I felt we were completely unqualified for working with these children and the fact that we only spent one day with them, ever, made me feel like we had absolutely no time to get to know the children. I feel like this made it easy to create an us/them divide and made it easy for us to look at the kids as just projects and not as real people. I don't think any of the girls enjoyed the day and we went home pretty downtrodden. That night though there was a party at one of the girls houses. Not everyone went but it was really great just being there with a few of the girls. The week after I spent a lot of time hanging out with the girls in the program because I lived so close to town. I went to the Plaza a lot to eat some amazing ice cream (and so cheap too!) and we sat and people watched a lot. I also went to a restaurant with a couple of the girls and ended up eating Alligator meat! It was okay, a bit chewy and I wasn't a fan of it being deep fried, but at least I can say I ate it! Ally and I had a project to get ready for Thursday. We had to plan an entire educational day on Recycling. It was really stressful and Wednesday night we ended up in a fight, both saying things that we regretted (At least I know I regretted some things I said). The next day we presented our day. Ally seemed to get lost in the middle and I ended up translating everything into English, french and Spanish! It was really hard but I was pretty proud of myself at the end. Then we took a break for lunch. When we got back we were told our activity day was cut short because our (The Canadians) visas didn’t go through. We then had to go to the immigration office and wait for 3 hours filling out a few forms. It was exhausting. We then went and met our counterparts in the Plaza. We decided to go to Subway (yes, Subway) for dinner and then back to another girls house for a movie. It ended up only being around 5 of us Canadian girls going back in the end, and we didn’t even finish the movie! I started panicking when i thought i didn’t have a way home (I didn't want to take the bus since it was already past 10) and I couldn't call Ally because my phone had fallen out of my pocket in a taxi earlier on that day. Luckily one of the girl's cousins drove me home! Friday night a few of the girls went out but I stayed home because I was exhausted. I was in bed by 8:30! Saturday we were told we were going to help paint houses for Habitat for Humanity. When we got to the site however we were told it was too cold to paint and for the concrete to set to build. So instead we went around the village picking up garbage. Lucky for us it had rained the day before so there were huge pools of swampy muddy water that we had to pull garbage out of....I decided to make the best of it though and got pretty dirty cleaning up. I guess a few of the kids in the village thought I was pretty funny. I was making actions and grunting a lot when picking up some of the heavy stuff. 4 or 5 kids started to help me clean up and half way through the day one of the girls (Daniella) gave me a beautiful necklace that the women make in the village. I didn't know if it was a gift or not so i told her it was beautiful and tried to give it back to her but she told me it was a “regala” which means gift (sorry if my spelling offends)!
After helping clean up me and Ally went home and the supervisors came over to do a checkpoint talk. It was really enlightening. I found out the family thought that I was unhappy (at some points I have been but definitely not because of the family) and that I didn't want to do things with the family. I was pretty confused about that because I have done almost everything the family wanted to do except when I was sick once. It ended up being a pretty emotional discussion with me trying to explain that if I've seemed unhappy it is because of the culture shock and the fact that I miss home. I also explained that I find it hard to interact since I still have a lot of trouble with the language. I felt pretty misread and not at all understood but I think now the family realizes that sometimes I do need time to myself to think but I do really want to do things with them. Also, I have been making more of an effort to interact which I think was the biggest issue. Things were a bit tense between Ally and I after that but I think things are getting better, especially since I've realized the halfway point for the Bolivia part is next week!
Sunday we visited Ally's family since we've been living at her grandmothers. I sat outside and started to draw some pictures. 3 or 4 of her little cousins came over and watched. They loved the car I drew and asked if I could draw them a Jeep! After that I went and played soccer with my house sisters and a few cousins then back to the house to watch a movie with my house sisters (in Spanish with English subtitles, I think it helped me get used to hearing Spanish more)!
One thing that made me so incredibly sad was the fact that their cat just died (I think they said something about someone feeding it chocolate). That was sad enough but the fact that the cat left behind 5 little 1 month old kittens was even worse (well 4 now because the dog sat on one and flattened it...). I don't really know what to do in this situation. At home I would have taken them to the SPCA or taken care of them myself by feeding them milk but here its more of an ethical issue. On the one hand you could feed them milk and help them survive (I'm pretty sure there's no SPCA here..) but then that would contribute to the immense amount of un neutered and un spayed animals here. Plus you wouldn't be able to know what quality of life they could live here since most animals are left to fend for themselves and many have diseases. On the other hand you could let nature take its course. I hate that I have to make this decision. If they are still alive when we go back to Ally's on Friday, then I will probably feed them milk, even though I do believe in the long run it's probably worse. Its hard to just go along with everything in this new culture. Coming into this program I told myself I wouldn't push my views on people and therefore may not be able to act on my views (unless it involved a human life/human rights/me directly). But to actually do that in practice is a LOT harder than I thought it would be.
Monday was work as usual. Tuesday we had work in the morning and then we were supposed to have theatre classes in the afternoon but they were cancelled. Instead we made signs for an activity we are doing in the Plaza on Friday. Its a global “flash mob” thing about violence against women called Women in Black. We are all dressing up in black and holding signs with statistics on violence against women and passing out petition. I'm a little nervous about doing it although it is a peaceful silent protest, I'm just not sure how people here/authorities here would react to it.
Wednesday we had work all day and then Spanish/French classes at night. I feel like I'm learning absolutely nothing with the prof. I feel as though there is no direction in his teaching and that he is just skipping all over the place. I think I need to buy a grammar/exercise book to work on some Spanish alone although I definitely don't have time.
I've been waiting for my university books to come for my online courses. They were supposed to be here a week ago and still haven’t arrived...not sure what I will do if they don't come. I need to take these courses to keep my scholarship. I know Ill figure something out, I just hope I do soon!
Wow time flies when you're insanely busy...Ally's dad left for 2 weeks for work. He is the only person in the family that drives. Since we live so far out of the city, and we have Spanish/french classes at 7:30-9 at night every Wednesday we had to come up with some plan as going home that late was not an option. Luckily Ally's grandparents have left on a vacation and are allowing us to stay in their house (which is right in town!) with her aunt for the two weeks Ally's dad is gone. Friday the 27 my work had an anniversary party. The kids put on a show of the history of Santa Cruz, mostly through dance. It was so great and the best part is we got to go home early! The weekend of the 28 we all had a community project to do. We took a bus about 30 minutes outside of town to a centre for abandoned children with disabilities. We weren't given a lot of information on what we would be doing or on the type of disabilities the children had. We were definitely not prepared for working with children most of whom couldn't walk or talk. We were each assigned a child to wheel around outside in their wheelchairs. We were told to talk to them and that we were there to make them feel loved. The kid I was paired with couldn't move much and couldn't talk at all. Which was fine, I couldn't talk (at least in Spanish) at all either. At first I tried to talk to him using my limited Spanish, but then gave up and decided just to sing to him instead. He seemed to like some songs, but maybe thatch just wishful thinking. Then it was lunch time and we have to feed the children. Only about 3 of us ended up doing it , it seemed like it was too difficult for some of the girls to do. I almost didn't do it either, but I stuck it out. Then we were sent to another section where my group sat around and again tried to engage the children in conversation. At the end of the day I felt absolutely horrible. I felt we were completely unqualified for working with these children and the fact that we only spent one day with them, ever, made me feel like we had absolutely no time to get to know the children. I feel like this made it easy to create an us/them divide and made it easy for us to look at the kids as just projects and not as real people. I don't think any of the girls enjoyed the day and we went home pretty downtrodden. That night though there was a party at one of the girls houses. Not everyone went but it was really great just being there with a few of the girls. The week after I spent a lot of time hanging out with the girls in the program because I lived so close to town. I went to the Plaza a lot to eat some amazing ice cream (and so cheap too!) and we sat and people watched a lot. I also went to a restaurant with a couple of the girls and ended up eating Alligator meat! It was okay, a bit chewy and I wasn't a fan of it being deep fried, but at least I can say I ate it! Ally and I had a project to get ready for Thursday. We had to plan an entire educational day on Recycling. It was really stressful and Wednesday night we ended up in a fight, both saying things that we regretted (At least I know I regretted some things I said). The next day we presented our day. Ally seemed to get lost in the middle and I ended up translating everything into English, french and Spanish! It was really hard but I was pretty proud of myself at the end. Then we took a break for lunch. When we got back we were told our activity day was cut short because our (The Canadians) visas didn’t go through. We then had to go to the immigration office and wait for 3 hours filling out a few forms. It was exhausting. We then went and met our counterparts in the Plaza. We decided to go to Subway (yes, Subway) for dinner and then back to another girls house for a movie. It ended up only being around 5 of us Canadian girls going back in the end, and we didn’t even finish the movie! I started panicking when i thought i didn’t have a way home (I didn't want to take the bus since it was already past 10) and I couldn't call Ally because my phone had fallen out of my pocket in a taxi earlier on that day. Luckily one of the girl's cousins drove me home! Friday night a few of the girls went out but I stayed home because I was exhausted. I was in bed by 8:30! Saturday we were told we were going to help paint houses for Habitat for Humanity. When we got to the site however we were told it was too cold to paint and for the concrete to set to build. So instead we went around the village picking up garbage. Lucky for us it had rained the day before so there were huge pools of swampy muddy water that we had to pull garbage out of....I decided to make the best of it though and got pretty dirty cleaning up. I guess a few of the kids in the village thought I was pretty funny. I was making actions and grunting a lot when picking up some of the heavy stuff. 4 or 5 kids started to help me clean up and half way through the day one of the girls (Daniella) gave me a beautiful necklace that the women make in the village. I didn't know if it was a gift or not so i told her it was beautiful and tried to give it back to her but she told me it was a “regala” which means gift (sorry if my spelling offends)!
After helping clean up me and Ally went home and the supervisors came over to do a checkpoint talk. It was really enlightening. I found out the family thought that I was unhappy (at some points I have been but definitely not because of the family) and that I didn't want to do things with the family. I was pretty confused about that because I have done almost everything the family wanted to do except when I was sick once. It ended up being a pretty emotional discussion with me trying to explain that if I've seemed unhappy it is because of the culture shock and the fact that I miss home. I also explained that I find it hard to interact since I still have a lot of trouble with the language. I felt pretty misread and not at all understood but I think now the family realizes that sometimes I do need time to myself to think but I do really want to do things with them. Also, I have been making more of an effort to interact which I think was the biggest issue. Things were a bit tense between Ally and I after that but I think things are getting better, especially since I've realized the halfway point for the Bolivia part is next week!
Sunday we visited Ally's family since we've been living at her grandmothers. I sat outside and started to draw some pictures. 3 or 4 of her little cousins came over and watched. They loved the car I drew and asked if I could draw them a Jeep! After that I went and played soccer with my house sisters and a few cousins then back to the house to watch a movie with my house sisters (in Spanish with English subtitles, I think it helped me get used to hearing Spanish more)!
One thing that made me so incredibly sad was the fact that their cat just died (I think they said something about someone feeding it chocolate). That was sad enough but the fact that the cat left behind 5 little 1 month old kittens was even worse (well 4 now because the dog sat on one and flattened it...). I don't really know what to do in this situation. At home I would have taken them to the SPCA or taken care of them myself by feeding them milk but here its more of an ethical issue. On the one hand you could feed them milk and help them survive (I'm pretty sure there's no SPCA here..) but then that would contribute to the immense amount of un neutered and un spayed animals here. Plus you wouldn't be able to know what quality of life they could live here since most animals are left to fend for themselves and many have diseases. On the other hand you could let nature take its course. I hate that I have to make this decision. If they are still alive when we go back to Ally's on Friday, then I will probably feed them milk, even though I do believe in the long run it's probably worse. Its hard to just go along with everything in this new culture. Coming into this program I told myself I wouldn't push my views on people and therefore may not be able to act on my views (unless it involved a human life/human rights/me directly). But to actually do that in practice is a LOT harder than I thought it would be.
Monday was work as usual. Tuesday we had work in the morning and then we were supposed to have theatre classes in the afternoon but they were cancelled. Instead we made signs for an activity we are doing in the Plaza on Friday. Its a global “flash mob” thing about violence against women called Women in Black. We are all dressing up in black and holding signs with statistics on violence against women and passing out petition. I'm a little nervous about doing it although it is a peaceful silent protest, I'm just not sure how people here/authorities here would react to it.
Wednesday we had work all day and then Spanish/French classes at night. I feel like I'm learning absolutely nothing with the prof. I feel as though there is no direction in his teaching and that he is just skipping all over the place. I think I need to buy a grammar/exercise book to work on some Spanish alone although I definitely don't have time.
I've been waiting for my university books to come for my online courses. They were supposed to be here a week ago and still haven’t arrived...not sure what I will do if they don't come. I need to take these courses to keep my scholarship. I know Ill figure something out, I just hope I do soon!
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